What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
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