DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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