Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize