I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
