Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
