The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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