I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
