Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
is that a dick in a sweater?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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