That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
