oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
God I need to hump something, right now.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
