i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
