Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
