my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
