Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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