Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
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