party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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