Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
