Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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