Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
