i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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