he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
God I need to hump something, right now.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
