Sponge bath it is.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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