you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
