You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
