She's JV to your varsity
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
