Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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