Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
