Got a toothbrush?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just gift wrapped bread.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
