Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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