I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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