he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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