last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I want to fling myself into the sun
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
