I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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