Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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