Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
