YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I stole a fireplace last night.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize