We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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