she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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