The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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