ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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