I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
only you would photoshop your dick
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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