Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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