This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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