I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
