I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
