Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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