then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
