is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
