all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
