I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
