HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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