So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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