those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
