D3 body, D1 cock
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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