You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize