I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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