Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
