She's JV to your varsity
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
