the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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