He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize