I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize