Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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