and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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